There have been multiple blogs and articles going around talking about sexual purity, so I thought I’d weigh in on the topic. I believe your sexual purity is definitely worth fighting for. Now before you write me off, please hear me out.
Yes, I am one of “those” people who wears a purity ring. And no, I am not some brainwashed Christian who recited some pledge years ago at a purity conference. I made the decision myself because I understand my value in Christ and respect my body and realize that God's design and plan for sex is the best.
I wear my ring as a reminder and symbol of a commitment I made. It’s kind of like the act of being baptized, although it’s not the same thing obviously. Part of baptism is that it is an outward expression of an inward commitment. Back in the time of John the Baptist, when he baptized people it was a very public thing. Others knew that these people were followers of Christ, and sometimes that meant that they would be persecuted. Wearing a purity ring is my outward expression of a commitment I made to fight for my purity. And plenty of people have looked at me judgingly after I tell them what it is and others just laugh like it’s the dumbest decision ever or they say that they respect me for it, but that they wouldn’t be able to live that kind of lifestyle.
They tell me I’m missing out. Missing out on what? Heartbreak? Diseases? Pregnancy and having to become a single parent? (Not that having a child wouldn’t be a blessing; it would just be very difficult to have to do that without support of a spouse)
I am not under some idea that wearing a purity ring will keep me from having sex or from wanting to have sex. We were made with a sex drive, and that isn’t a bad thing. Sexual desire is something God created in us, so it is a good thing, if used in the right way.
Pastor Steven Furtick gave a great analogy about sexual desire. He said that sexual desire could be related to fire. Fire is inherently pure, like sex when used in the way it was intended (inside of marriage), but when misplaced or misused it is dangerous.
I believe that sex was created for marriage and outside of marriage it is not good, not that it wouldn’t be pleasurable, it just was not intended for two people who were not committed to each other in marriage to have sex.
Pastor Furtick says, “You can have the right passion, but have the wrong expression of that passion and it can have a terrible result in your life.”
It can lead to shame and guilt and uncertainties. It can open a door to other things that you never thought you would do because our sexual desire is like a fire and when a fire is not contained it spreads and burns anything it touches.
So I’m not sitting here saying things like “If you wait until you’re married to have sex, you will have the best sex.” Or “Sex is a bad thing.” Even once we’re in a marriage we have to keep the “fire” aka sexual desire contained within our marriage. If all we ever do is go from one person to the next and sleep around, it’s practice for cheating on your future spouse and divorce because you don’t know how to control your sexual desire.
So many people say that they have sex with and live with their significant others because they want to give it a test run. They often use the analogy of test-driving a car, but would you want to buy a car that had multiple owners who racked up the mileage and wore down the car? Probably not. You would want a car that had been taken care of by its previous owner or one that had never been driven. So I don’t believe the “test drive” analogy is really the greatest. Those in relationships should respect their significant other and focus on who they are as a person not just physically, but mentally and spiritually. One day we’re all going to be old and wrinkly and our physical attraction will deteriorate, but who we are inside will remain.
The simple version of what I’m trying to say is, respect one another and yourself. You are worth more than just a hook-up. You are worth waiting for, and trust me, there are still guys and girls out there who are waiting too, so don’t give up or give in.