We all have those places where we like to go to think and clear our heads right? Well one of those places for me, well actually activities, is mowing the lawn because it’s loud enough that it tunes out the noise around me. I spend most of my time while I’m mowing the lawn to pray. I know it sounds weird, but it works for me. Maybe you should try it.
Anyways, it was one of those days I had to mow the lawn and I was praying about my singleness asking God to give me patience and to enjoy where He has me now, instead of always longing for that ‘someday’ when I’ll meet that ‘someone’. I don't always feel this way. I'll go through seasons where I enjoy this time in my life where I get to be single, but then there are also times when my heart really longs to have someone to share life with. This desire and longing isn't a bad thing. It is how God made us, but sometimes my focus can get lost a little too easily. That is usually when God steps in and has to refocus my attention.
As I was praying and mowing the lawn He told me something that I will never forget.
He said, “If I am not enough for you, if you cannot be content with Me alone, you will never be content with any man on this earth.”
That pierced right through my heart.
In my prayers I ask, “God bring me a man who loves you, and if you could please hurry that would be great.” Or, “God, I’ve already waited so long, when will it be my turn to fall in love.” I can easily justify these requests, since I am 22 and have never been in an actually dating relationship with someone. Just because it may be His plan for someone else to be dating or getting married right now, it doesn't mean it is His plan for me right now. We get easily side tracked looking at other people's lives, but we need keep our eyes on our own path and where God is taking us. My desire is to one day be married to a man of God and serve alongside him for the glory of God, but that is not what God has for me in this season of life.
In my head I trust God to bring someone in His perfect timing, but sometimes my heart doesn’t follow as easily.
What God spoke clearly and directly to, was my heart’s desire, my desire to be loved completely and unconditionally. That desire can only be satisfied through God. I am not saying that we are incapable of loving to great extents. We are just not capable of loving to the extent that God can and the extent that we truly need. God made us relational people, and from the beginning of time He saw that it was not good for man to be alone. He understands us more than we probably understand ourselves because He made us. He wired our brains. He is the one who created emotions and desires. And He is the only one who knows how to love us the way we need it.
If my heart is not satisfied enough in God—enough that, IF I had to spend the rest of my life single, I would be content because I already have all I need in God—then even if I got married tomorrow to the man God has for me I would never be satisfied.
I would never be satisfied because I would be placing unrealistic expectations on my husband. I would be expecting him to love me the way only God can. I would be looking to him to fill me and complete me, always to get let down because he is human and not God. I sure wouldn’t want my husband to be looking to me to love him the way God does, and so I cannot expect the same from him.
So the journey starts with allowing God to fill that hole in your heart. Allowing Him to come into your heart and do some remodeling on it. Allowing Him to restore you. Allowing Him to pursue you and show you what it means to love and be loved. Allowing Him to become more than enough. So that whether you are single or dating or married you will always be content because you know that you are complete because the God who made the universe loves you with everything he has.